Will my daughter have less self-esteem, because her Father is not in her life?
63My Daughter
Hi, Everyone
My daughter is my life. I do everything I can to help her grow. There are certain things I can't give her, because her father is not in her life.
She was very sick when she was born and for that 2-months when she was in the hospital, after she was born, I was there everyday to support her into living. I was married to her father at the time, and I did not, nor did she feel her father giving us support. The presence of the parents are very important for the sick child. "They" know you are there. Her father only visited three times out of the 2-months she was there and one of the times was when my daughter was coming home.
My daughter was 6-1/2 months when I left her father, for other reasons, and my divorce was final when my daughter had just turned 9-months. She is 10-years old now, and her father hasn't seen her, wrote to her, or talked to her since she was 8-months old.
I am sad for her, because she doesn't have that bondage with her father. "Daddy's little girl." I try to give her all the confidence in the world, but I know it is not enough for her.
She often asks about her father, and I give her certain information about it. I never give her negativity towards him. I also do not praise him, either, to her. One day, when I feel she is old enough to understand all of it, I will tell her everything.
I have received certain advice on what to say to her, about her self-esteem, her confidence, but I am seeking for more advice from my hub friends. Advice from family, and advice from my male friends, I feel is not enough.
How about giving this hub friend some advice.
Your feedback is always welcomed...............Thank you
Have a wonderful day.......................Patti
My Daughter
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thanks Lgali for reading
I don,t think it got to do with him at all, its all about the way you bring her up, she feeds off of you, just make sure that if there is a guy in your life or if there is going to be one,, that he cares about her too and lets you be a good mom like you are one now
jgrof299, thanks for your input.
nice hub;should you have her photo online?
Just concerned for her safety.:)
Stacie L, Thank you for your concern, but it's fine. Thanks for reading.
Hi Patti, thanks for becoming my fan. This is a nice hub, very transparent,real and sad. To be honest the best you can do for her is make sure she has all the love and confidence she needs in you and her family. You will also have to teach her to be strong for herself, because it is a cold world out there and as she grows she will have to learn to not depend not so much on the love others may give her, but on what she represents to herself and the love she has for herself. The reason for this is that she in loving herself and developing personality she will be not become a victim to peer pressure that easily. I now she must be feeling a void in her life with the absense of her father, that is understandable. Try to get her involved in activities that ensures she does not spend too much time alone to think about this, ensure that she has lots of exciting and educational things to do so that she somehow 'forgets' for now about that reality. When the time is right, sit her down and have a mother to daughter talk with her. Be honest tell her the truth what happened, but allow her to form her own opinions o.k.
I wish you the very best with this. This is not a easy situation to deal with, but nevertheless Patti, it is not impossible.
Thanks RehabSuccess for reading and giving me your great advice. There are some great ideas there. Thanks again.
Fergie9
Moms everywhere want the very best for our kids, don't we? Mine are all grown up and I still love to laugh with them, and so often feel with them in their pain as well. My oldest daughter endured two dads leaving her. One she never even met till age 14 and the other was my second hubby who adopted her and then left us. I think through it all the most important things I taught her was to hold her head up, to be strong when she could, to ask for help when she needed it, to change her life when she didn't like it and above all to have faith in God. Today, at age 31, she lives life accordingly, she has kept some of what I taught her, added to it as she needed so as to make it personal and has built a life. her life is not perfect, but whose is? She has confidence and is secure in who she is, maybe at times too much. Sorry so wordy, but this is close to my heart. Press on, Fergi, and just keep loving her. Love covers so much.
coffeesnob; Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it. Yes Love does cover so much... Thank you
Lgali 3 years ago
very nicely written hub